It’s spring today…the sun is shining, the birds are singing and the smell of sunscreen lingers in the kitchen as my son heads outside. The seasons are becoming so much more important to me...I’ve transitioned through 38 spring times now and look forward to many more. There is a vibrancy in this season and I’m beginning to deeply understand where it’s coming from this year. I’ve been praying through many goodbyes, and letting my hopes, dreams, wishes that were entangled in many relationships that didn’t work out, go.
I’ve noticed a pattern in my life that just keeps repeating itself in a blatant way, I now found myself smiling to spirit saying “There is no getting out of this one is there?” I’ve reached the point in my life where avoidance and denial are not really working for me anymore. So I have to muster my courage to look into the centre of my fear that has been reverberating for probably many lifetimes now. It seems that the more I focus and become clear on what I want and start to manifest my desires the people in my life change. Without fail once I commit myself with my whole heart and Being to anything it calls to the surface some insecurity and jealousy in those around me.
I don’t think it’s any coincidence that it is the women in my life who have these jealousy issues… Initially they seem to be happy for me, and then things get ugly and the dark side of life starts coming at me from all directions. Actually my past and future seem to join forces to try to knock me off my peaceful centre. I call these experiences to my self in order to heal the insecurities and jealousy within my own heart. The most unconditionally loving thing I can do is thank them for the opportunity to look at my own dark side and then make the decision whether or not I want to travel on my journey with them any longer. This is a very hard decision to make, and I guess this is what defines a friend.
I can see so clearly now that there is an unspoken truth that is communicated between two hearts. It is this truth that always leads the way in the direction that the friendship will go. It is the deep desire of Oneness that directs the course of the friendship in order to bring out the most opportune experiences that will foster growth between two people. The problem is our heads are so disconnected from our hearts that we can’t often hear let alone understand the cry that is underneath the jealousy. Jealousy is not a bad emotion, there are no bad emotions…it is when it is suppressed that one finds themselves seeing the angelic soul of another turn into that ugly green eyed monster.
In the cosmic scheme of things I can see that we are dancing along celebrating the vibrancy and richness of our Beings in a state of ecstasy, eternally entwined in ineffable energy patterns emanating from Source, that when combined with our unique form displays the intricacies that create the Light of life itself…So if we are all engaged in this dynamic dance of energy what is there really to be jealous about?
I would love to hear your thoughts…I’m sure I’m not the only one who is dealing with this issue…
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